Fate
by Piaohara
Summary: Kratos's thoughts... From a depressive situation from myself. Sorry that Kratos had to suffer. joke


(C) Pia Lutter, 2005. Characters by Namco. Lyric at the End: Pia Lutter, 2005.

Note: This fan fiction was created because of a depressive Situation... It contains Kratos, how he's speaking to himself and how he meets a strange "person" (Better said; A spirit). That "spirit" is the Fate. Hope you enjoy it... And, yeah, TOS still rocks :) (For the ones that don't know: Just ignore grammar mistakes or s.th. like that; I'm German. Hope you feel better than me in the moment... ;...)

Kratos's thoughts. He's in Dherris-Karlan.

**SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER.**

_**Fate**_

-.-.-.-

I am here, alone. Nobody by my side. Nobody that holds my hand through all this eternity. I'm alone, completely lost...

_How are you?_

I hear a strange voice. Weak I increase my head and look straight ahead with dull eyes, without sense and mind.

„Bad." Quiet words escape my mouth.

_Oh... I'm so sorry for you. Why aren't you fine?_

The voice sounds amused. As if she would say, _that's good. __I like it. _What's all this about? From where ist his voice? But in the next moment I stop thinking...

Again only soft words, so fragile my voice.

„Alone."

_Alone? That's no answer._

_Why aren't you fine?_

The strange voice repeats its question and I blink, loose insignificant tears. Would I count the tears, all the tears I lost in my whole life... I'd drown in them.

„...What do you want? "  
Short my old consciousness returns, but it fades as fast as it came. I can't suppress the answer.

„Alone."  
Again only one word. Cold tears run down my pale cheeks.

_What I want?_

„What...you want...?" It's more a statement than a question. _Alone, alone, that are you_, comes completely out of the blue in my head. _Alone, worthless and nothing more_.

_Suffer._

I don't understand what the voice means.

"Suffer...?" With every syllable – tears.

Ice-Cold.

_You... I want to see you suffer._

My breath stops short. Who is this „person"? But again my mind fades and I give the darkness of the planet of the half-elves empty looks.

"W..hy...?"

_Seeing you suffer, for what you've done. Think of her. Think of him._

_Ha... you exactly know what I mean... don't you?_

„For... what I'v..e.. done?"  
My heart stops. Why it's still beating?

Unimportant questions, unimportant answers.

Important is my crime...

_You know it exactly..._

The voice laughs and with every word I hear, I'm not breathing anymore. The voice speaks again, faster.

_Shall I let you suffer like her? Shall I put a blade in your flesh and let you suffer like she did? Shall I? It surely would be funny... Don't you think so? Hihi..._

„Uh..."  
Suffocate sounds escape my mouth. I fall on my knees and grab my heart. I realize first now that I just wear pants. My chest is fully wet of cold sweat. It hurts so much.

Ouch.  
Please let my scream, I want to scream "Help". Please...

_Can you see the scar?_

„S...ca...Scar…?" I can speak hardly.

Instinctive I stroke with my hands above the oblong scar, which runs straight along my chest. The only thing I still have from her. A long scar...

Again the spirit laughs.

_No, not that scar... Shall I show you the scar? It's much worse... Haha..._

In my mind I see blood. Blood that is running down from my head, above whole my body. A gigantic flesh wound direct in my stomach. My body isn't the mine anymore; my spirit frees itself from my body.

This scar?

_Yes, this scar... But worse... is the pain. The intellectual pain..._

_Fear. –To loose the one that gives you the meaning of your life._

_Loss. –To loose that what it most important to you._

_Desperation. –Not to have what you want to have... Family._

_Grief. –About the death of your beloved one._

_Shame. –Not to be like the others. Being different._

_Envy. –Of true families. Families without worries._

_Hatred... Hatred for yourself, because you weren't able to protect that, what had more meaning to you than your own life..._

-.-.-.-

Everything becomes white around me. I can't breathe anymore. I have no body anymore. I'm all alone again, with the knowledge that this strange spirit isn't around me, which let me suffer.

I'm dead.

But luck fulfils my heart.

I'll be united with her again.

I'll see Anna again.

_I won't see,_

_What I did once_

_I won't feel,_

_What used to be once_

_Won't notice,_

_What is reality_

_Where are you?  
I'm running behind you,_

_But can't reach you_

_What are you doing?_

_I reach for you so often in my dreams,_

_But you run away,_

_You're never there_

_Why aren't you in my arms?_

_You have been snatched away from me_

_You have been stolen_

_Away from me, from the cruel spirit_

_That's calling Fate..._


End file.
